[Latest 2010 Golf League Sheet]*Results from July 22, 2010

[North Trip Memo]*Commit now!

Papa C and C-Money are in Daytona. Here is an email excerpt from C-Money...

Here is the updated worksheet... I updated all the possible catergories (double checking the cards for errors... there were errors) including the winners of this weeks greenies/5-hole/team skins and I am fairly confident that I did not screw up this seemingly easy task. I awarded no AOTD due to lack of quorum after the league. Besides, I am not certain that Wolf (who we left in charge of league sheets) would take the time to super-impose the write up with the standings and statistics.
Chris

WOLF/JAMIE CHALLENGE ($5/week): week 10 no bet Wolfie absent Season total: WOLF +$5

Last week (July 15) Rained out. The following pertains to July 8th.
PIC-PIC/MARKIE MARK SEASON PAR CHALLENGE: 6 - 6 they each got two

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, July 8, 2010:
Steve Markunas for gross unpreparedness. With Wolf unavailable for league play due to a better golf offer (some kinda hoytee toytee big time Spring Meadows Country Club thingy) and apparently fearing some kind of post round boasting if things did not go well for his team (unfounded) Steve was left with specific instructions from Wolf not to allow opponents Snapper & Roachie any more than a maximum of "6" points….Steve of course readily agreed, announced his intention to his opponents before the round and to anyone else that would listen in typical Hollywood bravado….then hopped in the cart driven by the best ringer he could find on short notice, mild mannered aw shucks Don Savoie, and asked Don to pull up to his vehicle and load the clubs from the vehicle onto their cart for him so they could get started…Don attempted to follow these instructions at least as well as Steve intended to follow Wolf's instructions…then came the ominous query from Don as he peered into the open vehicle: "What Clubs????"……..Steve completed the round to his credit never once taking fellow Ping owner Snapper up on the offer to play from his bag when he wanted….instead playing partner Don's clubs for the big match…and not too poorly either managing to split the points 11-11.

PARS n BIRDIES: Still no Eagles this year in the group…… Another league member removed himself from the ranks of the "birdieless" as sub Don Savoie (previously uncounted due to lack of rounds) scored one(no Wolfie Don's birdie does not count fopr you since he was your sub…you need to keep trying to get your own. Still Birdieless Snappers:

1. Mark Blevins 2. Dave Wolfenden 3. Dave Lawless 4. Paul Throesch

CALL FOR VOLUNTEER(S): Next week 7/22/2010 Snapper will be gone on vacation & will have Nakes with him. Chris CMoney Carlson will have the manbag and scorecards and all routine duties to attend to and would no doubt appreciate a little assistance of his choosing with collections, dispursements, post round scorecard checking etc…. Then the following week on 7/29/2010 CMoney will have by then said "screw this" and hopped on a plane and flown down to join Snapper & Nakes on the beach and fishing boat. Hopefully, someone will have taken responsibility for the manbag and agreed to pass out sheets at the beginning of the 7/22 round, collected the $7 weekly bets, collected the completed cards at the end of the round, paid off the bets, placed the completed scorecards neatly into the manbag and await further instructions from Snapper for his recovery of same after his return on 7/30 and before the next round on 8/5 ...……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….……………. still waiting……………don't all jump up and say "Pick Me, Pick Me" at once…………

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!
Majestic Snappers 2010 welcome for a guest appearance today…the one…
the only…..Gary "just Gary" Fulgham

GO SNAPPERS!!!

WOLF/JAMIE CHALLENGE ($5/week): week 9 Wolfie again! (45/43)
Season total: WOLF +$5

PIC-PIC/MARKIE MARK SEASON PAR CHALLENGE: 4 - 4 they each got one! (yes we know Bill you got a birdie also but as Mark explained last year in a Part contest a birdie is NOT a par…)

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, July 1, 2010:
None deserving none awarded. We did however have a few nominations which as per or norm will receive a weekly dishonorable mention.

First how bout that Chris CMoney Carlson who decided to play extra holes after league and skip most of the post league meeting with the gambling money in his rear pocket leaving poor Snapper to pay the guys off outta his own stash a cash???

Next in absencia (as usual) Markie Mark is nominated for taking the opportunity at the expressway side of # 26 teebox to roll out the Johnson facing traffic a mere 10 yards or so in front of him. Playing partners PicPic and Lawless claim multiple cars honked but then came a horrified look on the faces of a vanload of Brownies coming home from camp.

Speaking of pissin how can we ignore Herb Green. Steve Markunas came back to the old drydock boat meeting with a beer for everyone there (at that time only say 7-8 of us claiming it is only courteous to do so when you get up to pee. Herb who won another greenie and had offered to buy a round offered to reimburse Steve who refused the money and told Herb: Don't worry…you'll have to pee soon enough.." To which Herb..after looking around the gathering of elderly Snappers PicPic, Lawless, Snapper, etc…replied: "No…I'm only 42"…

The greatest amount of laughter at that outlandish and offensive but dead right comment seemed to be PicPic…..who very much enjoyed the rest of the meeting until about an hour later this time with 12 Snappers in attendance…Pic got strangely silent and began moving around in his seat crossing on leg over the other and then changing positions and looking all round uncomfortable…When tears began coming from his eyes somebody somebody inquired: What's wrong Bill?:… and he admitted in a helpless manner, "I gotta Pee"… and pee he did shortly thereafter before returning with 12 $3 beers to pass out to the guys only to have 2 or 3 thank him and then immediately excuse themselves to go relieve their own stored up urine at a time when no one then needed a beer. Thanks Bill….

PARS n BIRDIES:
Still no Eagles this year in the group… Two guys removed themselves from the list of still birdieless. Congrats to Bill Pic Pic Cape and Bill Roachie Roach on their birdies. That leaves the following list of those Snappers still without a birdie this year:
1. Mark Blevins 2. Dave Wolfenden 3. Dave Lawless 4. Paul Throesch
Come on guys …..who wants one???

WOLF/JAMIE CHALLENGE ($5/week): week 8 Wolfie again! (38/40) Season total: DEAD NUTS EVEN

And now a new challenge...
PIC-PIC/MARKIE MARK SEASON PAR CHALLENGE: 3-3
(unless or until it suffers a death by stagnation):

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, June 24, 2010:
Rick "Snapper" Carlson for "GROSSLY ARROGANT IMPOSITION UPON FAMILY" …There he was 30 minutes or so before League began, sitting on the ole drydock pontoon, sippin a cold one and smoking a fatty….feet up…arms behind his head without a care in the world…at the same time as fellow snappers approached the course in their vehicles and each began shouting common word out the window at Steve who was feverishly pouring gasoline from a new gas can he had purchased and filled with high grade into ….not his outta gas again vehicle…but Snappers outta gas again van…."ASSHOLE….ASSHOLE…..ASSHOLE…." came the refrain as gravel and dust was thrown up in his face by each passing Snapper. Wolfie showed up in between Snappers smoke rings wafting into the air above Snapper's reclining posture…and said, "come on let's get your van…I'll give ya a ride", to which Snapper retorted: "No thanks…Steve's takin care of it….I left my keys for him down there." (without thought or concern as to how he would get both vehicles to the course without multiple trips).

Dishonorable mention to Steve who was actually nominated for agreeing without question to handle the problem for bro-in-law Snap when asked. "But he was doing a nice thing," Snapper volunteered. "But it was out of character," came the response.

Majestic Pontoon Driver of the Week winner:
"CAPT'N BILL"

HOW BOUT THAT CAPT'N BILL???!!!!!! The man chauffeurs us across this treacherous lake safely week after week….endures our constant criticisms and insults at his sailing/driving abilities…. and as if that wasn't enough… he shows up at the post round gathering of 18 or so boisterous Snappers last week and offers to buy anyone and everyone a beer!!! While we as a rule never turn down the best kind of beer (FREE BEER) all but 3 recent arrivers informed him that Naked Dave was enroute with the next round already but thanks anyway… so what does he do???? He immediately goes and buys the last three!!! Thanks CapT'N BILL. For this we honor you with the previously nonexistent but soon to be famous title and honorarium "Majestic Pontoon Driver of The Week". Incidentally, check out the photo on the front side of this sheet where upon returning with the 15 or so beers on his tab…. And upon learning the good Capt'n had been let off the hook from his honest offer mere seconds before…….Naked Dave was caught attempting to physically extract monetary reimbursement from Bill for his losses all at the end of an ostensibly loaded water pistol…..Bill called his bluff and wound up with a face full of H2O from Dave who was already testy from so many trips outside the drydock picking up Jamie's litter and castigating him for same each time resulting in a game of lets see how many more times he really will go back out and pick up another piece I throw out just as Dave returns……

PARS N BIRDIES: You may have noticed, I started a new challenge watch on the front page. Markie Mark and Pic Pic each have 3 pars for the season so far!!!! And don't think for a moment they do not each know exactly how many the other has at all times. I witnessed Pic Pic last par when golfing against him and all he could say was "Take That Mark" who was not even present at the time. Also witnessed Mark asking partner Tim to phone ahead to see if Bill had any yet that one week. Speakin of Pars Wolfie has the most so far this year of any Snapper…However he quietly confided his chagrin to this writer last week when I mentioned I noticed he has no birdies yet. More to come on that as we see which of the 4 remaining Snappers who are birdieless breaks out ahead of Wolf, if any…Pic Pic, Markie Mark, Lawless or Paul Throesch…

GO SNAPPERS!

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, June 17, 2010:
Was it the fine Michigan Summer afternoon or maybe the fact that the Snappers found a way to beat the Nazi Fascist Michigan State Government ridiculously restricting resident businesses from allowing patrons to smoke and drink in the same public place even if outside at a golf course? Yes Jennifer we snuck a beer or two onto the large dry-docked boat/smoking lounge provided by our hosts a hundred yards or so away from the clubhouse without their knowledge or consent. Whatever the cause, Snappers were in a good mood post round despite the predictably high scores generated from the difficult 10-18 back nine. Asshole nominations were offered at a fast and furious pace.

Dishonerable Mentions go out to:
Naked Dave who in spite of the detailed preleague nomination offered by Snapper regarding the "Brown Recluse Spider" fiasco did not win.;

Dave Lawless for unsuccessful attempted treacherous trickery on his opponent Snapper, who shall we say lost more than his fair share of golf balls this round. As Dave is painfully aware from his longtime partnership with Pic Pic, at some point during such a round, searching for and finding slightly used balls not your own, subsequent holes find the beaten down golfer recycling and putting such found balls back in play; we call it "Playin what ya find", and sometimes not being able to answer the question:" What are ya playin?"…After teeing off such a found ball on the troublesome 200yd + into the wind…into the sun…over the water par 3 bitching the whole time about never hitting this freakin green, Snapper hit a beauty of a 5 wood onto the front of the green. As he approached his ball with putter in hand Dave got there 1st, picked up and examined the ball and asked the question: What are ya playin? His half smirk half sneer turned to shock and surprise when Snapper immediately shouted "NXB" a brand he later admitted never having heard of before finding and recycling this particular ball.

Dave then nominated Snapper as a return favor no doubt for apparently "Being distracted by Dave's balls". Dave had graciously volunteered to tend the pin for Snapper for his approximate 80 ft putt and when Snapper read the green and determined Dave was standing on the wrong side inquired: "I'm gonna aim at your balls, is that alright?"….Being then granted permission Snapper hit his 1st putt short of half way there or about 40 ft…….

Jamie Leece was nominated either for trying to get under opponent Chris' skin (successfully) or just being Jamie (same thing?)…Chris was looking in the shit for as many balls as nearly everyone other than his father this day and late in the round upon successfully finding his ball in the tall grass, Jamie asked: "Are you sure that's yours". Questioning his integrity in such a way even jokingly worked and set Chris off and lit him up. Congratulations Jamie…but not quite good enough…

AND THE WINNER IS: Mild mannered and we thought easy to get along with Bill Roachie Roach for "offering and then retracting a Pic Pic to Pic Pic after it was accepted (because it was for par)". Still learning the intricacies and peculiarities of Snapper golf Roachie of course learned from the best this round. Despite the lesson that points are not important and that good fun and making your opponents happy is and having enjoyed numerous gimmees of questionable length throughout the round, Roachie found himself on 18 green with a 4-5 ft par putt. Pic Pic had a fairly equidistant put of his own (call it 12-13 feet). Whether in an attempt to return the favors he enjoyed throughout the round or simply to avoid what he knew would be coming from Pic Pic (incessant, whining, pleading, coin in pocket rattling and protracted pause over the ball , Roachie beat him to it and offered "Pic Pic?"….the immediate acceptance was followed by the question What is that for?" When Pic Pic announced Par obviously, Roache committed the unscrupulous and unforgivable sin before they both missed their putts and said " Oh, never mind then"

Belated congratulations to 6/10/2010 Majestic Beer Babe of the Week winner "LAURA"

WOLF/JAMIE CHALLENGE ($5/week): week 7 Wolfie tightening it up with another win (38/47) Season total: Jamie +$5

The latest golf sheet is posted. However, Snapper hasn't had the time yet to get me the writeup, complete with the AOTD award. So while we wait, let's play,

"SNAPPER LEAGUE OR U.S. OPEN?"

Who was obviously choked with emotion, with visible tears streaming down his face as he made his way to the final green?
A) Dave Mitteer, sobbing from his latest spiderbite injuries.
B) C-Money, as he came to the realization that Dave and he was out of beer.
C) 60-year-old Tom Watson, playing in his final Open.

What does Shaun Michael (USA), Brendon de Jonge (ZIM), Paul Casey (ENG), and Snappers own Bill Cape (MAJ) all have in common?
A) All these players coincidentally have 32-year-old Executive golf clubs in their bag.
B) All were overheard negotiating with their opponents for gimmee putts.
C) They all shot in the 60's last Thursday.

It's time to play "Graeme or Jamie?"...
Graeme McDowell won the U.S. Open and will likely be remembered as the guy who knocked off Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson and Ernie Els. Jamie Leece lost the weekly "CHALLENGE" and will likely be remembered as the guy who choked against gristled and aged Snapper veteran Dave Wolfenden, as well as getting smoked by Kachelski, and having a higher score than half the league.

At the conclusion of their last round, which one stated: "I can’t believe I’m standing with this right now... Can’t believe it happened.”
A) Graeme (holding the trophy)
B) Jamie (with his d&*k in his hand)
C) Both

Pundits speculated that this gentleman did not have his "A" game last week because he was still suffering the pyschological after-effects of his hooker addiction.
A) Tiger Woods
B) Mark "The Assassin" Blevins
B) Captain Brad

Thanks for playing!

Naked Dave… SPIDERMAN?
Ever since the infamous snapping turtle fiasco it has been in the Snapper League Rules. Look it up: RULE # 10:

10. For safety reasons, please do not play with the wildlife under any circumstances. This would include box turtles, as well as Snappers. This rule also prohibits side wagers involving wildlife like "closest chip to the woodchuck for a buck".

But that don't concern Naked Dave none. Somehow, inexplicably if you research, the insect Dave managed to get bitten by the Brown Recluse Spider.

What manner of provocation would be involved in causing this insect that just wants to be left alone to attack??? See for example the following discussion found at www.brownrecluse.org:

"This spider lives in dark corners and places inside the houses, and also under the furniture, boxes and books. It has a rather shy and nonaggressive behavior, although occasionally the Brown Recluse Spider bites human because they share the same habitat (read "habitat" section for more about this). Bite occurs only when the spider is disturbed"

I repeat: "Bite occurs only when the spider is disturbed",

Moreover they are not even indigenous to Michigan and this one apparently hitched a ride here in baggage recently traveling with Nakes and his new girlfriend/yoga instructor, the lovely Rachel.

"The brown recluse are mainly found in the central Midwestern states southward to the Gulf of Mexico, especially in Oklahoma, Arkansas and Missouri."

Dave diagnosed himself 3 days post bite or so as his condition gradually but steadily worsened sending him first to the internet where he found this the following:

"It is of the utmost importance to control any type of Loxoscelism (i.e necrotic gangrenous slough at the site of bite, nausea, malaise, fever) within the first 24 or 48 hours and being on the alert for the appearance of symptoms or any kind of signs that may suggest a visceral case."

The bite is apparently so painful that Nakes is taking no chances and refuses to go within 10 feet of the Majestic weeds for an errant ball simply shaking his head the tomfoolery of those wishing to find and confiscate his golf ball for their own. GO Spiderman!

An unsolicited response to the above from DaBlade:

Dear "Snapper", As you know, I subbed last week and was in the foursome that included Mister Mitteer. Watching him and his refusal to go near the weeds reminded me of the time when poison Sumac caused brother Greg to develop "Hillary Cankles", but that is another story. I just need clarification. Surely you don't mean to suggest that Dave violated Rule 10, do you? I'm no fancy book taught lawyer, but it seems to me that "playing with" is not the same thing as "disturbing" the wildlife. I believe it to be a question of intent. Was there intent to disturb? To apply Rule 10 against a fellow Snapper absent this intent to disturb would be a gross injustice. Oh what tangled webs we weave! And let us not forget what the inspiration for Rule 10 was in the first place (NUMBER ONE on the "Top Ten Assholes of all time!" list) Now unless there is additional information from the above that would tilt the scales against Dave (like a broken golf tee wedged inside the spider's mouth), I motion the Snapper quorum to dismiss all charges against Dave in this matter, both golf criminally (No violation of Rule 10) and any future golf civil action against Dave (future AOTD votes for being the victim of an attack -past or future- from wildlife or fellow golfers).

WOLF/JAMIE CHALLENGE ($5/week): week 6 Jamie +$10 (41/43)

WOLF/JAMIE CHALLENGE ($5/week): week 5 Jamie +$15 (39/39)

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, June 3, 2010:
Dave Lawless wins for the second time this year….this time for what can most appropriately be referred to as "Undue Accusatory Oratory". Reminiscent of 1988 when former Snapper Steve Iamarino won the AOTD for searching feverishly all about the golf course for 30 minutes after the round for a "2 iron" he never owned (having purchased new clubs that week and not realizing he bought only PW - 3 iron) Mr. Lawless misplaced his 7 iron midround and then as we all do from time to time, drove back to the last hole to see if he left it greenside. What distinguished Dave and set him apart from the rest was his persistence in not accepting the fact that someone on the league was not "F*&%^@# with him". He drove back and forth from one hole to the next and back again searching tees, greens, rough and fairways, and upon not discovering the lost club where he searched, vociferously accused multiple other Snappers in other foursomes of finding and concealing the club from him. Only when he looked once again in his own golf bag to find it next to the 5 iron rather next to the 6 where he always put it did he stop his rant….but alas too late to escape recognition for the week. Congratulations Dave.

Dishonorable Mention goes out to Dave Wolfenden who admitted after the round that out of 9 holes of golf with Herb & Jamie he only managed to address Herb by his proper name for one hole. The other 8 holes he accidentally called him by the first name of Jamie's partner last year "Paul", something Jamie corrected him on in no uncertain terms each time. way to pay attention Dave and thanks for making Herb feel at home and part of the League.

EARLY NOMINATION FOR THIS WEEK:
From time to time Snappers are not so surprisingly engaged in assholish behavior outside the confines of league play. Also from time to time when such an act or incident is brought to the attention of the league the following week we choose to acknowledge it award the coveted AOTD if appropriate. Some examples are Pete Deisel (white tees), Naked Dave (Never had a blow job- the drink I mean), Mark Blevins (telephone dyslexia unsuccessfully attempting to make a call for a sub) and Mike Watson (admitting to failure to copulate with a date)…..This week my nomination goes out to Chris CMoney Carlson. Chris went up north to the annual Duffers tournament at Houghton Lake/Prudenville with Wolf, Hollywood & Snapper to engage in a 3 day 4 man scramble tourney. Wolf served as the shot captain deciding which shot the team would play from, a duty not always fun as disagreements are possible but someone has to make the call and Dave graciously agreed. All was fine until day 2 found the team desirous of a birdie on a par 5 hole #1. After 8 team shots and team lying two off the green there were only 2 possibilities, first a ball lying right of the green and short some 15 yards from the green with the pin back left on the 60 foot long green, an overhanging tree branch making it a clear bump and run with no chance to pitch a ball higher than 10 feet. The second possibility was a ball short of the left side of the green 10 feet behind a stand of majestic 35 ft tall blue spruces , a blind shot some 55 yards from the flag, a clear lob shot with no possibility to keep the ball low. Problem: wolf & Steve prefer lobs, Chris & Rick prefer bumps. Dave again graciously made the hard call selecting the blind lob shot over spruce option. Then Dave hit 1st………horrible result….next Steve …..even worse…….next Rick successfully lobbed it over the trees about 20 yards leaving a 35 yard putt…this is when Chris started showing his temper and total lack of regard for poor Wolfie's feelings. "BAD CALL…..BAD Freakin call… that was one BAD CALL" Chris exclaimed over and over while stomping around his team mates all with our heads hung low…. Then between the Words: BAD and CALL for the umpteensth time he swung his club for the teams last shot raising the lobbed ball over the conifers and towards the green then towards the flag then onto the green 3 feet from the pin then two hops and a roll to the left and into the cup for eagle three and a skin. Okay Bad Call go ahead and get mad as long as it makes you play better.

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ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, May 27, 2010:
None deserving so to maintain the integrity of the award none awarded. Dishonorable mention goes out to Steve Hollywood Markunas who is the Snapper responsible for reporting partner Wolfman's childish behavior last week of unhooking multiple bags at the last green. This of course won Wolfie the coveted AOTD award. As it turns out it was in fact Hollywood himself responsible for committing the prank. Nice try…Wolf suffered the shame and scorn of the League and he gets to keep the golf ball. Steve? No we won't reward the admittedly assholish behavior of committing the act or for wrongfully reporting your absent partner as the culprit but we got our eye on you mister.

A brutal night scorewise on the old back 9 at the Majestic. With numerous higher than usual scores (with the exception of Markie Mark Blevins who after posting scores of 60 and 60 the 1st two weeks reported his 59 as "1 under") we had a league average of 49.5 for the week. I wonder how many golf balls will be recovered in later weeks by Cape as he dutifully follows his shot into the woods? We salted the trees pretty well for you I think Pic Pic…..

Controversy?: Sure we always got that when we need it.
Controversy #1 began when the course management threw us a curveball without advance warning. We were all lollygagging around waiting to start on #1 as we had just done 19-27 the previous week. Then it happened…the shuttle driver started herding my guys to his shuttle transport to the boat dock to get to #10. All of the prepared scorecards with names and tee orders and handicaps for holes 1-9 had been passed out to their respective owners….old Snapper grumbled and complained just loudly enough and often enough for the shuttle driver to think he was pissed and Pro Steve Tannar appeared with a tee off sheet schedule showing us going backwards this year on a weekly rotation, i.e., 1st 10, then 1 then 19 then 10 then 1, whereas last year it was 1 then 10 then 19….so be it… we made new cards played the round and Snapper actually got a free Sam Adams Summer Ale Draft out of it after the round …so everything is copasetic.

Controversy #2: How about that spirited discussion concerning the impossible 200 plus yard par threes on the backside???? It has been bantered about from time to time over the past couple years that we might possibly relieve everyone of the pain and agony of teeing off from the blues on those two holes only. This year not many…not most but all of the good golfers polled after week one agreed it was a good idea…. Therefore Snapper suggested it before the round. Timmy K, know by all to be the consummate (look it up Tim) consummate Naysayer vehemently opposed the suggestion and then rudely and pointedly accused Snapper of only suggesting it this year because his own partner Bob MaGuffee had no chance to hit the ball long enough to ever make one the greens. As Matt Wojo will attest Snapper took the criticism in stride choosing only to answer the charge with vulgarities instead of punching TK out (something even his best friend Hollywood once did in my presence)….Timmy does have his way of ticking you off but nevertheless we played the blues again this night. A straw poll at the round's completion confirmed that 2 Snappers reached the 1st green in regulation and 18 did not and 1 Snapper reached the second green in 1 while 19 did not…… Still Timmy garnered support from Lawless who at least politely and logically argued to play the course as it is designed blues or whites all around….. So final vote to allow an exception to playing blue tees on the two par 3's on the backside only was Yeas 18 Nays 2.. The NAYS have it…no change will be made but now we all have someone other than ourselves to blame when something goes wrong on those holes.

WOLF/JAMIE CHALLENGE ($5/week): week 4 Jamie +$15 (44/47) Uh oh…gettn outta hand.

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, May 20, 2010:
Dishonorable Mentions go to: Naked Dave for "Beer Stealin"…oh that Draft Sam Adams Summer Ale is good…so thought Nakes who downed his own and took half cup liberties with partner CMoney's placing the cup carefully back in the cart cupholder expecting Chris would never miss it…Yea Right!

Also, Dishonorable mention to Wolf who in a momentary lapse of adult judgment reverted to being a young prankster again, ignored that most of us have over $1,000 invested in clubs unhooked 3-4 bags from their carts on the last green gathering before hitting the road for work in a quick exit….

Dishonorable mention to Chris CMoney Carlson for asking outloud and enthusiastically for the first time late in the round while on the green: "What is everybody putting for????" (he was putting for birdie and no one remembered any interest on his part in their prior scores when he was not so fortunate.

And the winner is...
Bad Chad & Nessie: sitting at the first tee trying to fit in with the guys the so-called "newbies" were asked to go back to the clubhouse and retrieve the greenie markers for the league (something we neglected to tell them was the normal responsibility of the group 1st off the tee)…not wishing to screw up the task and/or unable to count or otherwise being overly cautious they returned with three markers …one more than we required and then quickly defended themselves saying the extra was in case we lost one.

WOLF/JAMIE CHALLENGE ($5/week): week 1 Jamie +$5 (42/45) week 3 Jamie +$10 (40/42)

CONGRATULATIONS TO WEEK #3 MAJESTIC BEER BABE OF THE WEEK: Meet "Marissa" reluctant at first to be photographed she nevertheless posed for the prestigious honorarium and in a last minute moment of reckless abandon showed her competitive spirit and a little thigh while she was at it!!!

CONGRATULATIONS TO WEEK #1 MAJESTIC BEER BABE OF THE WEEK: Meet "BETH" spotted here with some rather over-enthusiastic volunteers for what is normally a routine photo op with a single SNAPPER.

Speaking of Majestic Beer Babes,
You will find a gallery of all the past recipients prominently positioned at the top of the Turtle Soup Page. The quality of some these photos leaves much to be desired (due to the medium used - such as first generation cell phone cameras, coupled with high levels of blood alcohol), yet the subject matter remains superior. Enjoy!

And now a word from Papa Snap:
Week 1 is in the books. Everything went as expected. With nearly ½ of the league roster new guys and the old guys having been asked to help the new guys find their way to #10 tee via the shuttle and pontoon boat ride to the carts across the lake (a procedure the new guys would have no way of knowing about without help), Snapper, who golfed 9 holes preleague warmup and found himself at #10 tee ½ hour early with no Snappers, drove his cart furiously over the hike/bike path shortcut around the lake to the clubhouse, where he found Snappers everywhere except the line to the shuttle. There were Snappers on the deck, Snappers in the parking lot, Snappers on the putting surface at #1 tee, Snappers on carts or loading onto carts which would not find their way to #10. All were corralled and directed to their proper place in due course. And a good time was had by all.

WOLF/JAMIE CHALLENGE???: week 1 outcome??? Do we even have a bet this year boys???You are both way too quiet about it….

SKINS BROKEN: Way to go to team Wojdylak (Matt 7 Paul) for winning the first team skin of the year….. $18 dolla no holla…with a blind draw of the hole in play at the end of the round, everyone has a chance even though Matt looked somewhat surprised to find that the winning hole had in fact been drawn as opposed to some of the other somewhat larger numbers on his card

Go Snappers!

First 2010 AOTD Award a "Lawless" Affair
May 6, 2010

Dave Lawless wins for attempting to erroneously pad his partner's score by counting a penalty stroke for a lost ball which was never lost. Now admittedly, since his partner at the time was me (DaBlade), he could almost be forgiven for assuming my ball was lost. However, what seemed to carry the day for the first official AOTD quorum of 2010 (aside from Dave's early exit and lack of defense) were two facts working against him.

(1) Dave's known arrogant over-estimation of his own skill of driving to other golfer's ball locations, a skill necessarily honed from years of golfing with Cape and (born from a desire to finish in some semblance of daylight) having to follow his chaotic trajectories.

(2) Dave's failure to recognize sarcasm when he hears it (this, from a retired school teacher no less).

After scouring the left rough with no success, Dave crossed the fairway and pulled alongside Darren and Grant, having been waved over. Dave asked them if the ball they were parked next to was mine, and Darren, sporting a sideways smirk, answered, "No, I just dropped one there for him". (the aforementioned, and easily recognizable sarcasm). As I hopped out and grabbed a club, Dave immediately motored off into the distance. We had no idea where he was off to, but learned later that he was continuing his futile search for my ball that I was already lining up to miss-hit again.

Dave still may have avoided the AOTD award even up to this point, had he not officially carded a bogey "6" on a hole his partner parred, then chided the three of us for "letting" him continue the search.

In other news, check back soon for the first 2010 official MBBOTW (Majestic beer Babe of the Week). It will be posted just as soon as it is forwarded from C-Money's cell phone to Papa Snap, and then on to me.

As most of you know, we have been awarding the MBBOTW on a sporadic basis ever since July 9, 2007, when Lori Lynn was inducted with this now famous "ponytail and thigh" shot. Since then, many have been honored with this prestigious award, with their pictures scattered in various locations on this website. They will soon be given their very own page and place of honor. Check back soon. Sadly, I must admit we have yet to get that elusive shot of the MBB in her natural habitat.

MBB Natural Habitat: At the end of the day toward dusk, the beer babes gather down at the dock on Lake Walden, playfully wading and splashing each other to cool off, their soaked and clinging attire dripping in slow motion...

Old guys help the new guys understand the intricacies of our rules.

As league veterans are aware, frequent visitors to snappersgolfleague.com are rewarded with access to digital versions of the league memos and handouts early. Enjoy!

KACHELSKI DISCLAIMER: Must own or have use of a computer with internet access to click the following links - print, fold, and stuff in back pocket before heading to the course.

[Latest 2010 Golf League Sheet]

[2010 League Roster and Schedule]

GO SNAPPERS!

STARTING DATE: MAY 6, 2008 @ 5pm starting on #10 (be early and catch shuttle & boat to tee)

GREAT NEWS: MAJESTIC HAS LOWERED GREEN FEES FROM $26 to $23/WEEK!!!!!! OUR LEAGUE DUES ARE NOW: $525
2005 Dues were: $510.
2006 Dues were raised to $550
2007 Dues were held at $550
2008 Dues were raised: $575
2009 Dues were held at: $575
2010 Dues down to: $525 *****

As always dues includes:
-- green fees 1st thur May thru last thur before labor day (maximum 18 weeks) 18 x $23 = $414
-- year end 4 man scramble (18 holes & dinner 9/11 or 9/12) $75
-- $25/pp prize money) $25
-- year end golf balls & prizes $11

*Please send me some kind of deposit by ?????? or contact me for other payment arrangements you propose. Only 3 members have paid anything as yet.
* Also we are still at 7 teams (14 players) and need 1 or 3 (2 man teams still)

GO SNAPPERS 2010!!!

AND THE WINNER OF THE 1st TO PAY OFF 2010 DUES OBLIGATION: VICKI, I MEAN MARKIE MARK BLEVINS!!!!

Click link for your official2010 INVITATION.

Three of 16 Snappers could not make it (Paul Throesch, Bill Cape, Adam Cusin) but of course we had no trouble filling their spots with league subs (Jerry Carlson, Greg Carlson, Don Savoie) ….WHAT’S THE BEST KIND OF GOLF?... FREE GOLF!

The scramble teams, once again scientifically selected by random computer suggestions gave us 4 teams shooting -3, -4, -4 & -8 respectively. The winning team in fact had the highest average(s)/handicap(s) but pulled together and we are told made all four mulligans count for birdies.

Snappers 2009 Eagle Eye Year-end Scramble

TEAM 1: Mark Blevins, Steve Markunas, Jamie Leece, Don Savoie
TEAM 2: Tim Kachelski, Mark Hansen, Dave Lawless, Greg Carlson
TEAM 3: J. Carlson, Dave Wolfenden, Darren Bentley, Terry Fairchild
TEAM 4: Greg Groesser, Dave Mitteer, Rick Carlson, Chris Carlson

GREENIE WINNERS:
Dave Lawless, Darren Bentley, Steve Markunas, Jerry Carlson

LONG DRIVE WINNER(S):
Tie: DARREN BENTLEY & CHRIS CARLSON

Tie?...Whaddya mean tie? Chalk this one up to Snapper selecting the wrong hole. Hole # 9 looked good on the scorecard…a long par 5 front nine finishing hole with a gentle fade to the left after the drive. Then you get there and look at the sucker and find out its basically a split fairway where two balls actually in the fairway can be, and were, about 40 yards apart. Darren pounded his 300 plus yard drive up the right middle of the fairway careful to avoid the risk and reward of hugging the pond all along the leftside. Darren’s approach required no carry over water to the green. It was a monstrous and well thought out shot taking danger out of play and still allowing his group the chance to get home in two for an eagle putt if they approached well. Chris, after seeing his partners safely downfield but not very long chose to “roll the bones” and hug the water on the left side smoking his drive to a landing area which left a 200 carry over water but only about 207 to the pin (according to the nearby sprinkler head). From 40 yards to his right, Darren claimed victory and his team mates all supported the call by claiming to be able to eyeball who was longest off the tee from there. Chris’ team mates, not to be outdone inspected the sprinkler head near Darren’s ball and found that he had left his team with about 218 to the green, and of course claimed victory for Chris. How did the sprinkler heads measure distance to the green, around the hazard in the fairway or over the water, shortest distance? A spirited Snapper discussion ensued as usual with everyone throwin in two cents favoring first one then the other of the contestants as to who actual would win the $15, leaving Snapper shaking his head and promising never to again have a long drive contest. Chris and Snapper of course laughed it off and split the money…..

SKINS WINNERS:
TEAM #1 took down 6 count em 6 total skins!!!!
TEAM #2 got a skin
TEAM #3 got theirs….8total skins $40each

WAY TO GO TO ALL THE WINNERS and how bout an atta boy for all of us…Great Day..Great League…Great Guys….Great Fun…..

GO SNAPPERS 2010!

SNAPPER LINKS: