[Current Golf Sheet]*Most recently updated anyway.

[2017 YTD scores]


WHAT'S UP KEN HOCHSTEIN???????
WK11 UPDATE: July 13, 2017 By: Snapper (POSTED: July 20, 2017)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Larry Cooper "39"
Low Net: Cameron Barnett "32"
Greenies 1: Ken Hochstein
Greenies 2: Herb Green
Team Skin: Who else Kuhla & Hochstein (Kenny was on fire today!!!!!!)
5-Hole: Ken Hochstein
Jamies Scratch Skins: none nada nope

2 birdies this week… Jim Kulha, Ken Hochstein. Rounds by both Larry Cooper and Dave Fury consisted of 6 pars each.

Worthy Of note: we have so far had 16 different subs post 27 scores…Doyne "Free Golf" Cason holds the current honors with 6 appearances (only one appearance behind regulars Dave Lawless & Paul Jakubic)

Inspirational quote of the day you long iron players:
"Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that." - Jim Murray

Go SNAPPERS!!!!!

THEY DID WHAT WITH THE 5 WEEK SKINS POT MONEY???
WK10 UPDATE: July 6, 2017 By: Snapper (POSTED: July 13, 2017)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Tim Kachelski "38"
Low Net: Tim Kachelski and Matt Muraney "30"
Greenies 1: Tim Kachelski
Greenies 2: Dave Muraney
Team Skin: Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot carried over AGAIN…Wait…No it didn't…Chris Carlson & Cameron Barnett skinned us all with a nice hole drawing for them and split the $250 this week…..Well sort of…at the the not so quiet suggestion of nearly every other catcalling member of the Snappers League still on the deck…the boys Sprinkled the Infield so to speak purchasing beers for all…..they said they had to add their own funds to the prize money to do so but I think not…Congrats and thanks boys…for the best kinda beer…"FREE BEER"
5-Hole: Dave Lawless
Jamies Scratch Skins: Herb, Coop & Steve Gregory

6 birdies this week… Steve Gregory, Jim Kulha, Jason Wolfenden, Herb Green, Dave Lawless and Larry Cooper.

TimmY K's round consisted of 7 pars and 2 bogies…wow …nice…& Matt Muraney best round ever on Snapper League????? 42……..Dave Lawless joins the birdie club and now there are but 6 lonely soles with no birds yet for the year…who are they????check your stat sheet…that's what I keep em for…. Congrats to all…

TEAM PHOTOS FOR THE WEBSITE …….. ongoing…see JERRY DABLADE CARLSON And always remember the following observation:
"It's about hitting the ball in the center of the club face and hitting it hard." ----Bubba Watson"

Go SNAPPERS!!!!!

$250.00 TEAM SKINS POT TONIGHT
WK9 UPDATE: June 29, 2017 By: Snapper (POSTED: July 5, 2017)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Mike Romanowski "40"
Low Net: Mike Romanowski "33"
Greenies 1: Dave Wolfenden
Greenies 2: Jason Carrier
Team Skin: Blind Draw Skins Pot carried over AGAIN - pot will be $250 this week
5-Hole: Mike Romanowski
Jamies Scratch Skins: Mike Romanowski, Kevin Stutzman & Larry Cooper

4 birdies this week… Mike Romanowski (who else) COOP, CJ & STUTZ

Congrats one and all…

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, June 29, 2017:
none….there was a minor vote which Snapper voided later for lack of a quorum and a suspect nomination made by Bill Cape of Timmy K who he said corrected someone who said Donnie Boy was moving to Philadelphia thusly: "No he's not…he's moving to Pennsylvania!" aotd if true but I have reason to believe it was totally fabricated by Cape.

TEAM PHOTOS FOR THE WEBSITE ongoing - see JERRY DABLADE CARLSON
And always remember the following observation:
"Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe" - Lee Trevino

Go SNAPPERS!!!!!

$200.00 TEAM SKINS POT TONIGHT
WK8 UPDATE: June 22, 2017 By: Snapper (POSTED: June 28, 2017)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: sub Nick Hartley "36"
Low Net: Herb Green "34"
Greenies 1: Scott Gregory
Greenies 2: Herb Green
Team Skin: carried over AGAIN….pot will be $200 this week
5-Hole: Matt Muraney
Jamies Scratch Skins: Jamie & Nick Hartley

8 birdies this week. Herb got 2 then 1 each from Wolf, Scott Gregory, Nick Hartley, Steve Gregory, Jamie and DaBlade AGAIN!

Congrats one and all…

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, June 22, 2017:
Jim Kulha was not nominated for AOTD for the 1st time in 3 weeks and was a little testy (or is that testes?) about having won so many already…. Accusing yours truly of making stuff up but then refusing to deny that he actually did the deeds accused of….hmmmmmmmm???????

TEAM PHOTOS FOR THE WEBSITE With so many guys on the league, a lot of new guys and a lot of subs it is necessary to accumulate team photos over the next several weeks. when you have both of your team members present please report to Jerry "DaBlade" Carlson... smile and say: "WE ARE HERE FOR OUR TEAM PHOTO DABLADE" (cleanest Buckeye shirt Timmy K) thank you

And always remember the following sage advise:
"SWING HARD IN CASE YOU HIT IT" - former Detroit Tiger slugger Mickey Tettleton

Go SNAPPERS!!!!!

ELEVEN WHAT? By WHO??????
WK7 UPDATE: June 15, 2017 By: Snapper (POSTED: June 21, 2017)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Peaches & Herb each with "39"
Low Net: Jamie "peaches" Leece, Don "Donnie Boy" Savoie & Chris "CJ" Johns each with "31"
Greenies 1: Rick "The Rick" Bailey
Greenies 2: Mike "Romo" Romanowski
Team Skin: Team 2 - $50 smackers to C-Money and Cam
5-Hole: Bob "Boob" Baumann. oh man was the 5 hole brutal or what….. Chris Johns gets 2 blows on the hole and birdies it for a net "1" which wins every time right?...no Boob does the same thing scoring his 1st birdie of the year on the hole then wins the head to head with CJ by scoring his 2nd birdie of the year on the very next hole….WOWWWWWW….
Jamies Scratch Skins: Herb $50

Also nice birdies Herb, CJ, Boob (2 of em), Matt Murany, Wolf, Donnie Boy, Cam, Coop (2 of em) and DaBlade ………..11 Birdies this night are you kidding me????????? There are only 8 of us on the league now without a birdie….. Congrats one and all…

Weekly Blind Draw Skins Pot carried over

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, June 15, 2017:
Jim Kulha (a second time winner) is voted this award for causing an acidic unsavory yellowish liquid to be splattered upon Timmy Kachelski's Tee at or near the tee box area as TK searched for the little rascal…Timmy loves his peculairly shaped tees in general…but this one…not so much…….

Go SNAPPERS!!!!!

POSITION ROUND THIS WEEK (It’s Moving Day)
WK6 UPDATE: June 8, 2017 By: Snapper (POSTED: June 15, 2017)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual: Dave Wolfenden "39" (7 straight pars... gotta say it "WHERE WAS THAT UP NORTH?")
Low Net: Dave Wolfenden "33"
Greenies 1: Dave Murany
Greenies 2: Jason Carrier
Team Skin: Team 2 - $50 smackers to C-Money and Cam
5-Hole: Mike Romanowski (getting to be a habit)
Jamies Scratch Skins: Dave Murany, Scott Gregory, Jason Carrier and Kevin Stutzman each won what about $12.50? Also nice birdies Stutz, Jason C, Shang, TK and Dave Murany.

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, June 8, 2017:
Ah finally we had two nominations... assholishness is picking up.
Dishonorable mention goes to Cam Barnett who pressed for time and apparently oblivious to the extreme inconvenience to the staff ordered a sandwich to be delivered to tee #10 "NO LATER THAN 5:06pm SHARP?" when the poor thing drove all the way around the lake (something Cam now pretends he did not understand at the time) she delivered the $5.75 order asking "Anything else I can get you Mr. Barnet?" throwing a five and a one on the ground in front of her, he snarled "Nah... keep the change"

ACTUAL AOTD goes to Steve Shang Peltier who won the award without a single word spoken. The following camera phone pic said it all:

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!! And........... GO SNAPPERS!!!!!

More Eagles - Boys of Summer Continues
WK5 UPDATE: June 1, 2017 By: DaBlade (POSTED: June 8, 2017)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual:Mike Romanowski "40"
Low Net: Chris Carlson "29"
Greenies 1: Larry Cooper
Greenies 2: Jamie Leece
Team Skin: Team 2 - $50 smackers to C-Money and Cam
5-Hole: Chris Carlson
AOTD Winner: nope.
Jamies Scratch Skins: I asked, but still not sure.

Kevin Stutzman joins the birdie club with his first, Dave Wolfenden grabs his 3rd and Scott Gregory his 2nd birdies of the year. Good job, fellas! Super-sub FreeGolfer 'Casey' Cason keeps the Snapper's Eagle train cruisin', with an Eagles on #6! Let's see... Glenn Frey? Check. Joe Walsh? Check. Hey, Don Hendley is still available... or their mandolin player, what's-his-name? Great Job POPS!!!

And this FaceBook update from Snapper, hissself:
Snapper members Eagles continue...
Prudenville Duffers tourney Wolff Steve snapper n cmoney....3 shots on par 5 gets only skin of the day $1200

We'll have to get the full story straight from the Snapper's beak on the beer deck. Until then...
Eagles - Take It Easy!

Go SNAPPERS!!!!!

OH THEY COME IN TWOS, IT'S HARD TO CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITE (fill in the blank)
WK4 UPDATE: May 25, 2017 By: Snapper (POSTED: May 31, 2017)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual:Scott Gregory "42"
Low Net: Jerry Carlson "33"
Greenies 1: Herb "Herbie" Green
Greenies 2: Chris "No Nickname?" Johns
Team Skin: carried over
5-Hole: Kevin Stutzman
Jamies Scratch Skins: no winner and carries over only for those in the pot last week

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, May 25, 2017:
Our 1st AOTD of the year went to Jim Kulha who complained of a "finicky" cart he just could not motivate to move. After push starting it 3 times he called the clubhouse who sent someone out for a cart exchange. After giving Jim the new cart he immediately stepped on the gas and drove Jim's cart off (the one that would not run). He wins AOTD for use of the word finicky... we are told he could not ever get his 1st wife jump started either.

Weekly Kudos: Welcome Jason JWOLF Wolfenden and Scott Gregory to the birdie club together with Herb Green and Jim Kulha each scoring another... brutha Jerry DaBlade Carlson called his shot earlier in the week suggesting his favorite Eagle Rocker with due respect to Glen Frey was in fact Joe Walsh and requested a song by Joe when he got his next Eagle. Well he did it on hole #26.

POP QUIZ: WHAT IS EAGLES ROCKER JOE WALSH TALKING ABOUT WHEN SINGING THIS SONG LYRIC PHRASE IN HIS FAMOUS SONG, "I LIKE BIG TITS?":
A) TITS ????
B) THE 2 under par EAGLES scored in consecutive weeks by Snapper League Members ??

The Shot Heard 'Round The 3rd Nine (a short story by 'Blade Ruthless)
There is no question that Babe Ruth hit a mammoth home run in Game 3 of the 1932 World Series at Wrigley Field. There is also no debate that Jerry 'DaBlade' scored an equally impressive '2' Eagle on hole #26 at the Majestic in week 4 of the Snapper 2017 Season.

But DID Babe Ruth and 'Blade Ruthless actually CALL their historic shots PRIOR to hitting them? Sports historians are not all convinced regarding that portly baseball player from over 80 years ago, but when it comes to the rising Snapper golf star... the evidence is overwhelming.

Some have speculated that The Babe might was simply pointing to his favorite hot dog vendor in the right field bleachers and ordering a couple Red Hots prior to his home run blast, but Blade's 'finger point' FaceBook post a mere 35 hours BEFORE his awe-inspiring Eagle is the ingredient from which TRUE legends are made.

"I don't want to make this just about me," typed Jerry to himself - a slight smile pursing his lips as he remembered the 100-ish yard wedge shot that found the bottom of the cup. "There are 27 other league members besides me, after all," he acknowledged magnanimously - albeit insincerely. "Maybe they won't always suck."

"I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Mr. Steven Tannar, the golf pro at The Majestic, for sticking by me and keeping the faith thru skinnier golf times; the greenskeeper in charge that fateful day (nice cut and hole placement, my man!); the course Marshals and pontoon skippers who risk life and limb in transportation and encouragement every week; the beer babes, for keeping me hydrated and sufficiently limber; and lastly -my loyal golf partner, Rick Bailey, for managing to shut the f&*k up long enough for me to strike golf *sniff*... *chokes up*... 'that's good enough for the girls we go out with.'"

[don't click this link unless you have a box of tissues handy]NEXT WEEK - Chapter 2, My First Grade Teacher, Mrs. Thurman - Potential Realized!

"Well, the good Lord and good luck must have been with me because I did exactly what I said I was going to do."
-- Babe Ruth (repeated by 'Blade Ruthless)

Go SNAPPERS!!!!!

GUESS WHAT WE GOT ALREADY LAST WEEK??
WK3 UPDATE: May 18, 2017 By: Snapper (POSTED: May 24, 2017)

That’s right, NEWBIE LEAGUE MEMBER PAUL JAKUBIC shows up to league for the 1st time, plays 5 practice holes and cards a... GLEN FREY. Kinda takes the anxiety away that we usually feel later in the season wondering whether anyone will actually do it this year.

NICE JOB PAUL!!!!!

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual:Herb Green "42"
Low Net: Matt Murany "35"
Greenies 1: Rick "The Rick" Bailey
Greenies 2: Herb "Herbie" Green
Team Skin: carried over $100 to Jamie "Peaches" and Herb
5-Hole: Scott Gregory
Jamies Scratch Skins: Jamie and Dave Furey each won $27.50 with birdies….Paul "Glen Frey" Jakubic tried to get in I am told but Jamie denied him….musta seen it comin I guess
AOTD:Nope not a nomination…I don't think the new guys get it yet….come on boys lets show them the way.

HMMMMMMM….Interesting note: WHAT AN AWFUL SHOWING….granted we played the hardest of the nines but the league actually swung the club 1418 total times this night for an average score of 50.64…my my and to think one of those was Paul Jakubic's stroke saving Glen Frey!!!!!!!

Go SNAPPERS!!!!!

ANNNNND THEY'RE OFF!
WK2 UPDATE: (wk1 rained out) May 11, 2017 By: Snapper (POSTED: May 16, 2017)

Weekly Cudos:

Low Actual:Dave Furey "42"
Low Net: Matt Murany "35"
Greenies 1: Steve Peltier (who apparently in a goodwill gesture has donated his winnings back to the League)
Greenies 2: Jamie Leece (he collected his winnings)
Team Skin: Pot carried over $50 due to a 2 man cut on hole #2
5-Hole: Steve Gregory
Jamies Scratch Skins: Larry Cooper and Hoi Hung each won $27.50 with birdies. Congrats one and all!

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY: May 11, 2017:
Sadly, no one distinguished themselves. Nary even a nomination. I think we were just too damn tired the 1st night to take this most sacred honorarium seriously.

HMMMMMMM….Interesting note: out of 252 attempts by league members this week, a mere 41 scores of par or better were carded…11%???????... this does include birdies by Cooper, Hung, Kulha Steve Gregory…yeha!!!!!

DA RANT by DABLADE:
(Via League email business) Snapper said: "...also I did not write down name of beer babe of the week. Give it to me with whatever she did to ingratiate herself to you and I will write it up in the sheet."

'Blade said: Brutha, here is what Kelly the beer girl did to "ingratiate herself" to us...
#1 - An attractive young female was driving a golf cart with it's hold full of beer and other assorted adult beverages, and she smiled and inquired whether we wanted to purchase anything.
#2 - That's it. That used to be enough... ????? Is this like the Miss America contest now, where there are various competitive phases including a talent phase? Must my beer girl also juggle or play the violin?

BREAKING SNAPPER NEWS!
The Majestic Beer Babe Of The Week contest will now involve a 60-second "On-Fairway" question. Please record a video response for the beer deck judges. Here is a sample Q/A:

Snapper League Member: "Dear Beer Babe, why do you think that a fifth of Snapper golfers are unable to locate the fairway for the entire round?"

Beer Babe Contestant: "I personally believe that, U.S. Snapper golf league Americans are unable to do so, because some… people out there in our nation that don't have maps, and I believe that our education, like such as in South Africa and the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should… our education over here in the U.S., should help the U.S., er, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future.., for our children... "

I believe we have a winner!!

Meet Kelly, the first 2017 Majestic Beer babe Of The Week. While we don't believe she juggles or plays the violin, she DID just graduate from Western Michigan with a BBA. Now she receives a doctorate MBBOTW degree. Congratulations, Kelly!

(BONUS QUESTION: Are 8-foot 'gimmee putts' a RIGHT or a PRIVILEGE?)

Go SNAPPERS!!!!!

2017 FIRST OF THE SEASON SNAPPER BITES
May 4, 2017 By: Snapper (POSTED: May 4, 2017)

It is Opening Day. Snappers welcome 10 new league members this year and increased our roster to 14 teams. By my count only 2 at best of the newbies have never subbed or golfed with us on our Snappers North trip. You guys for certain (and it would not hurt the rest of you) please read and familiarize yourselves with our league rules. Since everyone ignored the written copies I used to pass out on Opening Day and to Go Green and save a few trees…you are directed to our longstanding website found at www.snappersgolfleague.com. Rules are there as are past news stories, past photos, past Asshole of The Day Winners and their efforts which gained them such notoriety. Importantly you will also find your stats in the form of week by week scores and the next week’s golf sheet whenever my brutha Jerry and I get around to getting it up there. We also make announcements from time to time on our Snappers Golf League Facebook Group page which group you are encouraged to join and participate in. THIS IS A WELL OILED MACHINE BABY !!!!....and if its ever not up to your hopes and expectations please feel free to complain…your concerns will be sincerely considered by and voted upon by the 3 Carlson league members requiring 2 out of 3 Carlsons to change anything.

AOTD: Please be on the lookout for and be prepared to report to the group on the deck meeting after golf any behavior you believe we may as a group, by mild exaggeration or not, find Assholish. This will be a group vote so presentation of your nomination counts.

WEEKLY GAMBLING POTS:
Each week beginning now we have a mandatory weekly gambling pot to which each team is required to contribute $10 (that is $5/man but most teams simply alternate weeks. This means we have $140 gambling pot. We have four games to pay out each week, ie, greenie, greenie, 5 hole and team skin. Team skin is divided by 2 guys so that game will pay $40/week which evenly divide by 2. The other 3 games will pay out $30 each. For those of you really good at mathematics (somebody please explain to Timmy K what I mean by that) you will note that there will then be $10 left over, collected and not paid out each week. Over the course of a 16 -18 week season (depending on rainouts) this will total $160 - $180. I propose that we vote as a league to apply this sum either to the yearend final league standings prize money which is presently $25/man from your dues or to the yearend outing skins pot.,/P>

Why do we need to do this you ask? Why not simply split the weekly money collected weekly? I already told you that skins is a team win and needs to for convenience divide by 2. It should not be $35 for example which is what $140 divided by 4 equals. If the $10 is added to the greenies $5 each that favors the better golfers who hit most of the greenies. If the $10 is added to the 5 hole that favors the high handicappers who mostly win that game. So assuming I can get either my son or my brutha to agree with me to get 2 Carlsons, that much is not up for debate.

Weekly payouts will be:
Greenie #1 (closest to pin): $30
Greenie #2 (closest to pin): $30
5 Hole (lowest net on 5th hole after ties broken hole by hole on the card): $30
Team Skin (hole blind drawn only once/week with carry over pots if cut): $40
What you may vote on is what to do with leftover $10/week as stated above

Go SNAPPERS!!!!!

SNAPPERS GOLF LEAGUE YEAR END OUTING LOCATIONS

As Snapper Golf League approaches with the season opener this coming Thursday I say it is never too early to plan for the end of the season. Don't forget part of your non refundable dues goes to pay for a 4 man scramble and dinner and awards meeting after at a travel course of our choosing. I have already requested a quote for this year from The Grande Golf Course (our sister course located in Jackson). But it could be anything.

2017 ????? 2016 Solitude Links - Kimball, 2015 Timber Ridge -E Lansing, 2014 Golden Fox - Plymouth, 2013 Greystone-Washington, 2012 Apple Mountain - Freeland, 2011 Copper Hills- Oxford, 2010 Orchards - Washington, 2009 Eagle Eye - E Lansing, 2008 Davison CC - Davison, 2007 Boulder Pointe - Oxford, 2006 Bay Valley CC - Bay City, 2005 Kimberley Oaks - St. Charles, 2004 Timbers - Frankenmuth, 2003 Fortress - Frankenmuth, 2002 Copper Ridge CC - Davison, 2001 Tyrone Hills - Fenton, 2000 Dunham Hills - Hartland, 1999 Timbers - Frankenmuth, 1998 Devils Ridge - Oxford, 1997 Majestic - Hartland, 1996 Majestic - Hartland, 1995 Sugarbush CC - Davison, 1994 IMA Brookwood - Burton, 1993 Davison CC - Davison, 1992 IMA Brookwood - Burton, 1991 Dunham Hills - Hartland, 1990 Flint Elks Club - Grand Blanc, 1989 IMA Brookwood - Burton, 1988 Grand Blanc CC - Grand Blanc


Pictured: A leisurely boat ride across Lake Walden on our way back to the clubhouse side dock after the front nine at The Majestic.

May 29, 2004
I sat at a table on the beer deck checking the math on Snapper golf cards (fifty five... fifty six... fifty seven...). Fellow Snappers were swapping traffic violation stories like old sailors rolling up their pant legs and comparing shark wounds. Mister Cowan's partner, Shang, had started the subject earlier when he hired Snapper to help him with a ticket (allegedly for speeding, but Shang claims it was a wrongful citation as he was in a hurry that day). Shang became concerned and wondered aloud if he was still on Snapper's "billing clock." Snapper told Shang not to worry, as he will work for beers. Shang, here is a running legal bill (bar tab) for Snapper's services.
Shang's legal bill (in beer)

Highlights


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